A government investigation has found overwhelming evidence that maggots and rodents are wreaking havoc at … A. Two Iowa egg farms B. A Minnesota meat packing facility C. ESPN Minnesota Vikings fans have cause for concern after this key figure revealed that he has “no idea” if he’ll make it through the season … A. [...]

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Tags: 1974, 2012 presidential race, Alaska, Aroldis Chapman, baboons, Barack Obama, Bill Clement, Bob Kelly, Brad Childress, Brett Favre, Broad Street Bullies, Canada, Chicago White Sox, Cincinnati Reds, citizenship, Cro-Magnon, Cy Young Award, Dave Schultz, Democrats, dreadlocks, egg farms, ESPN, France, Gallup poll, grapes, Great Britain, Hezbollah, Iraq War, Jerry Reinsdorf, Joe Miller, Joe the Plumber, John McEnroe, Lisa Murkowski, Los Angeles Dodgers, maggots, Manny Ramirez, Minnesota Vikings, New York Yankees, NHL, Orest Kindrachuk, Oval Office, Percy Harvin, perjury, Philadelphia Flyers, prime minister, Princess Diana, Republicans, rodents, Roger Clemens, Sarah Palin, soccer, South Africa, Tony Blair, vineyards, wine, women's tennis, World Cup

1. Roger Clemens “Not guilty, your honor,” he said with a remarkably straight face. (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Paris Hilton Not just drug charges. Felony drug charges. (1) 3. Brett Favre Lubricant injections in his ankle? Yuck! (unranked) 4. Justin Morneau Don’t hold your breath waiting for him to return. (unranked) 5. Glenn Beck “I have a [...]

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Tags: ankle, arraignment, birth control, birth rate, boxing, Brett Favre, Carla Bruni, Chicago White Sox, Cocaine, concussion, felony, Fox News Channel, France, Glenn Beck, Iran, Jamey Toney, Justin Morneau, Las Vegas, Los Angeles Dodgers, lubricant, Manny Ramirez, Maurice Clarett, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Vikings, MMA, New York Yankees, NFL, Nicolas Sarkozy, Ohio State Buckeyes, Ozzie Guillen, Paris Hilton, perjury, prostitute, Randy Couture, Roger Clemens, UFC 118, UFL, ultimate fighting, waivers, Washington

Numbers can sometimes have deep meanings. Other times, they’re merely used to craft the most obvious of one-liners … 44 Days until Hillary Clinton drops her first hint about challenging President Obama for the 2012 Democratic nomination. 4 Hours of restless sleep Brett Favre has been getting each night since hearing about Sidney Rice’s hip [...]

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Tags: "Jersey Shore", 2012 presidential race, Adrian Peterson, Afghanistan, African-Americans, Albert Haynesworth, Barack Obama, Ben Roethlisberger, Boston Red Sox, Brett Favre, Chicago, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Congress, Democrats, divorce, domestic violence, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, drunk, Elin Nordegren, English, ESPN, fatty, fumbles, Hillary Clinton, hip surgery, human growth hormone, hung jury, Illinois, informants, Jay Mariotti, Johnny Damon, Julian Assange, lie detector tests, Los Angeles Dodgers, lying, Manny Ramirez, migraines, Minnesota Vikings, New York Yankees, Nicole Polizzi, Percy Harvin, Pittsburgh Steelers, Rachel Uchitel, racist, Rod Blagojevich, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, sexual assault, Sidney Rice, Snooki, Steroids, Taliban, teens, texting, Tiger Woods, waivers, Washington Redskins, Wikileaks

A shocking new Time magazine poll finds that 24 percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim. White House officials pointed out that Obama is “obviously a Christian,” having for two decades attended Jeremiah Wright’s Chicago church, Our Lady of Perpetual Race Baiting. Nearly two-thirds of New Yorkers are opposed to the planned Ground [...]

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Tags: archaeologists, Barack Obama, baseball, bias, BP, Brad Childress, Brett Favre, Brian McNamee, British Petroleum, bullfighting, Christian, Congress, Cooperstown, fossil, Gulf Coast, Hall of fame, HGH, home run, human growth hormone, Jeremiah Wright, Joe Mauer, karma, Larry King, Lindsay Lohan, lying, Mecca, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Vikings, Moveon.org, MSNBC, Muslim, New Orleans Saints, New York Yankees, nudity, oil spill, prayer, prison, Roger Clemens, Spain, sponge, Steroids, Target, Target Field, terrorists, Tom Emmer, Twitter, Yahoo! Sports

1. Roger Clemens Was always more likely to be indicted than inducted. (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Brad Childress Has “no clue.” Just ask his quarterback. (unranked) 3. Barack Obama Prays every day, usually when facing Mecca. (unranked) 4. Bullfighting Much more exciting when the bull is in the stands. (unranked) 5. Eggs A breakfast that’s to die for. [...]

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Tags: Aerosmith, Antonio Cromartie, Barack Obama, baseball, bastards, Brad Childress, Brett Favre, Brian McNamee, bullfighting, Christian, Congress, Cooperstown, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, eggs, Hall of fame, HGH, human growth hormone, Jennifer Aniston, lying, Mecca, mental retardation, migraines, Minnesota Vikings, Muslim, New York Jets, New York Yankees, Percy Harvin, prayer, racist, Roger Clemens, salmonella, Sarah Palin, Spain, Steroids, Steven Tyler, Twitter, Yahoo! Sports, “American Idol”, “Hard Knocks”

Minnesota had one of its closest Democratic gubernatorial primaries in history on Tuesday, and the big winner was … A. Mark Dayton B. Margaret Anderson Kelliher C. Tom Emmer Emmer coasted to victory in the Republican primary. He’ll now spend the next couple of months promising to … A. Fight any increases in Minnesota taxes [...]

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Tags: 9-11, adultery, American soldiers, arthritis, Barack Obama, Clay Aiken, Connecticut, Czech Republic, debt, Democrats, Derek Jeter, DFL, drug testing, Esquire magazine, Fantasia Barrino, gay bar, geometry teacher, ginseng, golf, government shutdown, Ground Zero mosque, gubernatorial, Hank Haney, Internet, Iranian Revolutionary Guard, Israel, JetBlue, Joe Lieberman, Justin Bieber, Kim Jong-Il, liberals, Linda McMahon, lobotomy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Margaret Anderson Kelliher, Mark Dayton, Mark Teixeira, mass graves, Minnesota, New York Yankees, Newt Gingrich, North Korea, nuclear weapons, paternity suit, PGA, Phil Mickelson, Pop-Tarts World, Pork Chop, Republicans, Richard Blumenthal, Robert Gibbs, Ryder Cup, Sacramento, sex scandal, sex tape, Steven Slater, suicide, taxes, The Iron Sheik, Tiger Woods, tips, Tom Emmer, transvestite, U.S. House of Representatives, vegetarian, waitresses, water bottle, White House, World Wrestling Entertainment, “American Idol”

Every number tells a story. Not necessarily a fact-based story, but a story nonetheless. 35 Temperature that Angelina Jolie chills her urine before serving it to her father’s girlfriends in a Mountain Dew bottle. 4 Hours that Brett Favre spent trying to convince his wife that there is NOTHING to that whole Jenn Sterger sexting [...]

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Tags: 2010 World Cup, Al Gore, Alaska, Albert Haynesworth, Alex Rodriguez, Angelina Jolie, Barack Obama, Boston Celtics, BP, Brett Favre, Bristol Palin, California, Chelsea Clinton, Deadspin, Deanna Favre, drunk, execution, fitness test, gay marriage, gray hair, Gulf Coast, Jenn Sterger, Joe Paterno, Jon Voight, Kim Jong-Il, Levi Johnston, Lindsay Lohan, Minnesota Vikings, Mountain Dew, MTV, NBA, New York Yankees, Newsweek magazine, NFL, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, North Korea, oil spill, Penn State Nittany Lions, prison, Proposition 8, retirement, Sarah Palin, sexting, Shaquille O’Neal, shrimp, Sidney Harman, soccer, Steroids, Target, teen pregnancy, Tipper Gore, urine, Washington Redskins, “Jersey Shore”

1. Brett Favre “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!” (previous ranking: 1) 2. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Were they unable to hire competent assassins? (unranked) 3. Alex Rodriguez Hits his 600th homer. Nice job, Steroid Boy! (unranked) 4. Obamacare Only 71 percent of Missouri voters think it’s a pile of crap. (unranked) 5. Gulf Coast oil spill Wait … [...]

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Tags: 9-11, Albert Haynesworth, Alex Rodriguez, Aretha Franklin, assassination, Barack Obama, BP, breastfeeding, Brett Favre, cell phone, Deadspin, fitness test, Gisele Bundchen, Ground Zero, Gulf Coast, Haiti, health care reform, Iran, IRS, Islam, Jenn Sterger, Louisiana, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, mandate, Manhattan, Minnesota Vikings, Missouri, mosque, New York Jets, New York Yankees, NFL, nudity, obesity, oil spill, retirement, Steroids, stripper, supermodel, Tom Brady, Washington Redskins, Wyclef Jean

Brett Favre was the center of attention Tuesday amid reports that he was ready to retire. It’s the surest sign yet that the Vikings’ quarterback is suffering from severe … A. Ankle pain B. Shoulder pain C. Menstrual pain Recently retired NFL quarterback Kurt Warner reportedly is heading to reality TV this season as a [...]

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Tags: 9-11, Academy Awards, Alaska, Alex Rodriguez, Andrew Morton, Andy Griffith, Angelina Jolie, ankle, Aretha Franklin, assisted suicide, Barely Legal, Bill Cosby, Brett Favre, Bristol Palin, China, CNN, death rumors, diabetes, engagement, erectile dysfunction, Ground Zero, health care reform, human growth hormone, instant replay, Kurt Warner, Levi Johnston, Lindsay Lohan, Little League World Series, Maxim, menstrual pain, meth, Miami Heat, Minnesota Timberwolves, Minnesota Vikings, mirror, mosque, MTV, New York Yankees, New Yorkers, Newsweek, NFL, Oscars, Queen of Soul, reality TV, retirement, Roman Polanski, Sarah Palin, Sidney Harman, Stephon Marbury, Twitter, Vanity Fair, Vaseline, virginity, Wal-Mart, “Dancing with the Stars”, “Jersey Shore”, “Matlock”, “Snooki”, “Survivor: Nicaragua”, “Wife Swap”

Tommy Lasorda enjoyed a 21-year Hall of Fame career as manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers. Some would say his greatest moment came when the Dodgers beat the New York Yankees in the 1981 World Series. Others would point to the Dodgers’ upset of the Oakland A’s in the ’88 Series. And they would all [...]

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Tags: 1981 World Series, 1984, 1988 World Series, Baseball Hall of Fame, Cooperstown, Kurt Bevacqua, Los Angeles Dodgers, New York Yankees, Oakland Athletics, profanity, San Diego Padres, Tommy Lasorda