1. Larry King Does sleeping with your wife’s sister count as an “irreconcilable difference?” (Previous ranking: unranked) 2. Minnesota Timberwolves Ready to start Year Two of 20-year rebuilding effort. (unranked) 3. Volcanoes A real pain in the ash for European air travelers. (unranked) 4. Jaimee Grubbs The first Tiger strumpet to log jail time. (unranked)  5. Oprah Winfrey Who’s [...]

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Tags: "I Will Always Love You", "My Life on the D List", 2012 presidential race, adultery, airlines, Alfonso Soriano, arrest, Barack Obama, baseball, Bill Parcells, biography, Birmingham, Bravo, Chicago Cubs, CNN, Cocaine, concert, crack, Dallas Cowboys, David Kahn, divorce, drugs, errors, Europe, Iceland, jail, Jaimee Grubbs, Jerry Jones, Kathy Griffin, Kitty Kelley, Larry King, Larry King Live, Miami Dolphins, Milton Bradley, Minnesota Timberwolves, mistress, NBA, NFL, Oprah Winfrey, pap smear, sex scandal, Shawn King, Tiger Woods, volcano, Whitney Houston

Phil Mickelson won his third Masters green jacket on Sunday. His stirring victory was applauded joyfully by his loyal fans, millions of worldwide television viewers … and Elin Woods. Mickelson gave his cancer-stricken wife Amy a half-minute hug after walking off the 18th green in triumph. For Tiger Woods, the scene brought back misty water-colored [...]

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Tags: "Ace Ventura", abortion, adultery, Amy Mickelson, Augusta, Barack Obama, Bart Stupak, baseball, Ben Roethlisberger, biography, CBS, Cocaine, Dallas Cowboys, Elin Nordegren, Elin Woods, filibuster, Frank Sinatra, green jacket, health care reform, Henny Youngman, hug, implosion, infidelity, Irving, Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, John Paul Stevens, Kitty Kelley, Lech Kaczynski, liberal, Masters, Michael Irvin, Michigan, middle finger, Milton Bradley, monogamy, MVP, New York Jets, NFL, Obamacare, Oprah Winfrey, paternity, Phil Mickelson, Pittsburgh Steelers, Poland, pornography, Republicans, scandal, Sean Penn, Seattle Mariners, sex scandal, Super Bowl XLIII, Supreme Court, Texas Rangers, Texas Stadium, the bird, Tiger Woods, Twitter, William Ayers

1. Tiger Woods  To quote Eldrick himself: “Tiger Woods … you SUCK! … GOD DAMMIT! (Previous ranking: 2)  2. Fred Couples  Can now go back to stealing money on the seniors’ tour. (unranked)  3. USA Swimming  Finally, a pedophilia scandal that has NOTHING to do with any church. (unranked)  4. Isaiah Rider  If someone charged us with $150 cab [...]

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Tags: 1962 New York Mets, 2010 World Cup, al-Qaeda, arrest, Augusta, bankruptcy, baseball, CBS, Champions Tour, Derrick Coleman, divorce, domestic assault, Eldrick Woods, Elizabeth Taylor, engagement, Fred Couples, Houston Astros, Isaiah Rider, Jason Winters, John Paul Stevens, marriage, Masters, Milton Bradley, Minnesota Timberwolves, NBA, New Jersey Nets, pedophile scandal, profanity, Seattle Mariners, seniors tour, sex scandal, soccer, Supreme Court, Syracuse Orangemen, taxi, terrorism, Texas Rangers, Tiger Woods, USA Swimming

Mehmet Ali Agca has been released from prison 28 years after he tried to kill Pope John Paul II. He expects to rest at home for several weeks before beginning his next effort to shoot a pope. A new German musical about President Obama is getting rave reviews in Frankfurt, though it’s expected that, after one [...]

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Tags: "Lethal Weapon", Amy Winehouse, assassination, Barack Obama, Boston Bruins, Britain, Buffalo Bills, chalupa, Chan Gailey, Chicago Cubs, China, Chinese prisons, civil rights, Cocaine, CoCo, Conan O'Brien, Danny Glover, earthquake, FBI, Florida, Frankfurt, Germany, Glen Bell, Global warming, Haiti, heart attack, Hollywood, Indianapolis Colts, Jay Leno, Kennedy Space Center, Leslie Frazier, Martin Luther King, Marvin Harrison, Mehmet Ali Agca, Milton Bradley, Minnesota Timberwolves, Minnesota Vikings, MLB, musical, NASA, NBA, NBC, New York Islanders, NFL, NHL, Philadelphia, Pope John Paul II, Rooney Rule, Shanxi Zhongyu Brave Dragons, shooting, sneakers, space shuttle, Starbury, Stephon Marbury, stress, Taco Bell, The Tonight Show, Wrigley Field

Thousands of dollars worth of the Minnesota Wild’s gear was destroyed Friday when a fire broke out in the equipment van while it was parked in Ottawa. Some of the gear was burned to such a crisp that it reminded witnesses of the Vikings’ secondary. The Vikings lost to Carolina on Sunday night, but Julius Peppers [...]

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Tags: Barack Obama, Ben Nelson, blizzard, Bobby Knight, Boston Red Sox, Brett Favre, Carlos Silva, Carolina Panthers, Democratic Party, Earth, Elin Nordegren, Elizabeth Edwards, fire, Grand Ayatollah Hossein Ali Montazeri, Harry Reid, Indiana Hoosiers, Iran, John Calipari, John Edwards, Julius Peppers, Kentucky Wildcats, marriage, Mike Lowell, Milton Bradley, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Vikings, Minnesota Wild, mother-in-law, Nebraska, Nevada, NFL, NHL, Nike, offal, Ottawa, palimony, Pan Am Games, Rielle Hunter, Seattle Mariners, snow, Texas Rangers, Tiger Woods, U.S. Senate, White House

1. New Orleans Saints You didn’t really think they were perfect, did you? (Previous ranking: unranked) 2. Minnesota Wild’s equipment Still smokin’. (unranked) 3. Tiger Woods Voted Player of the Decade by Associated Press, PGA Tour and the Wilt Chamberlain Fan Club. (2) 4. Global warming Took another hiatus this weekend on East Coast. (unranked) 5. Denny Hecker Great news, [...]

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Tags: Associated Press, beatification, blizzard, Bobby Knight, Chicago Cubs, Dallas Cowboys, Denny Hecker, dissidents, divorce, East Coast, fire, Global warming, Iran, Joe McKnight, John Calipari, Kentucky Wildcats, Masachusetts Minutemen, Memphis Tigers, Milton Bradley, Minnesota Wild, New Orleans Saints, NFL, PGA Tour, Pope Pius XII, probation, sainthood, Seattle Mariners, Tabitha Hecker, Tiger Woods, USC Trojans, Wilt Chamberlain

Seahawks at Vikings (-11)   The Vikings raised the stakes in their fight for a new stadium, calling efforts to extend their Metrodome lease a “non-starter.” They’ve had success using that term, as they had no chance to make the Super Bowl until this summer, when Brett Favre turned Tarvaris Jackson into a “non-starter.” Pick: [...]

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Tags: 9-11, Arizona Cardinals, assault and battery, Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, Brett Favre, Brian Westbrook, Bruce Gradkowski, Bud Adams, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Cleveland Cavaliers, concussion, Dallas Cowboys, David Letterman, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Eric Holder, FedEx Field, Green Bay Packers, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars, JaMarcus Russell, joint, Kansas City Chiefs, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Late Show, LeBron James, marijuana, Metrodome, Miami Dolphins, Mike Shanahan, Milton Bradley, Minnesota Vikings, moobs, MTV, nausea, NBA, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, profanity, Rex Ryan, Ricky Williams, Ronnie Brown, San Diego Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Shawne Merriman, St. Louis Rams, Super Bowl, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tarvaris Jackson, Tennessee Titans, The Loop's NFL Picks, Tila Tequila, Tom Cable, Top Ten List, Washington Redskins, Week 11, Wildcat offense, Windy City, Zygi Wilf

New cast member Jenny Slate kicked off the new season of “Saturday Night Live” by dropping an f-bomb in one of her first skits. It’s not known yet how many NBC officials she’ll have to sleep with to keep her job.   Fugitive moviemaker Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland on Sunday more than three [...]

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Tags: Atkins Diet, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Booty Call, boxing, Charles Manson, Chicago Cubs, Evander Holyfield, Garrison Keillor, Global warming, Iran, Jenny Slate, Milton Bradley, National League Central Division, NBC, New York, nuclear weapons, Prairie Home Companion, raw meat, Roman Polanski, same-sex marriage, Saturday Night Live, SNL, soccer, St. Louis Cardinals, St. Paul, statutory rape, Susan Atkins, Switzerland

1. Herschel Walker  Only a few of his personalities interested in ultimate fighting. (Previous ranking: unranked)   2. Bill Belichick  This season won’t be perfect, either. (unranked)   3. John Edwards  Ready to resume ambulance chasing now that political career is toast. (1)   4. Tim Pawlenty  Already focusing on vice presidency. (5)   5. Barack Obama A [...]

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Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Belichick, CBS, Cecil Cooper, Chicago Cubs, CNN, David Letterman, David Paterson, Eliot Spitzer, Georgia Bulldogs, Herschel Walker, Houston Astros, Jeopardy, John Edwards, Late Show, Milton Bradley, Minnesota, Minnesota Vikings, multiple personalities, New England Patriots, New York, Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, Tim Pawlenty, ultimate fighting, Wolf Blitzer

An NFL record of more than 105,000 fans filled Cowboys Stadium for Sunday night’s Dallas-New York Giants game. Most of the fans left bitter, not only because the Giants won, but because Jerry Jones charged them $49.99 for nachos.   A new United Nations study predicts swine flu could kill millions and cause global anarchy. [...]

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Tags: Barack Obama, Big Ten, Bill Belichick, Brett Favre, California Golden Bears, Caster Semenya, Chicago Cubs, Cowboys Stadium, Dallas Cowboys, David Paterson, Detroit Tigers, drawing and quartering, Elizabeth Edwards, genital herpes, haircut, hermaphrodite, HINI, Jahvid Best, Jerry Jones, John Edwards, Leonard Chuene, Milton Bradley, MInnesota Gophers, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Vikings, mistress, nachos, New York, New York Giants, New York Times, New York Yankees, Osama bin Laden, paternity, South Africa, Swine flu, TCF Bank Stadium, United Nations