Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, says he want to plastinate his wife’s body to preserve it, then put it on display so that “her beauty would be immortal.” He hasn’t decided, though, whether to wait until she’s actually dead first. A suicidal New York man miraculously survived Tuesday when he jumped from [...]

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Tags: "Batman & Robin", "Jersey Shore", "You'll Never Walk Alone", 18-game schedule, 2012 presidential race, Academy Awards, amnesty, Arizona, Aroldis Chapman, brain freeze, Burger King, Cincinnati Reds, Darfur, debate, Dodge Charger, Doug Flutie, failure, fast food, federal government, genocide, George Clooney, God, horsemeat, illegal immigration, Jan Brewer, Jerry Lewis, Labor Day Telethon, lawsuit, Lindsay Lohan, Manhattan, Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders, MInnesota Gophers, MTV, New York, Newt Gingrich, NFL, Oklahoma, Oscars, physics, plastination, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, solvency, Stephen Hawking, Sudan, Sun Belt Conference, Terry Goddard, Tim Brewster, Tom Coburn, Tommy John surgery, U.S. Senate, United States, universe, Wall Street, Zsa Zsa Gabor

1. Hurricane Earl Like the Kennedys, wants to spend some quality time in Martha’s Vineyard. (previous ranking: 1) 2. Nyjer Morgan You’d go nuts, too, if you had to play for the Washington Freaking Nationals. (unranked) 3. Jerry Lewis Wouldn’t be afraid to hit a LADY! (unranked) 4. James Jay Lee Wasn’t a big fan of Bravo [...]

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Tags: "Why Can't We Be Friends?", AccuWeather, Andy Roddick, botched hernia, Bravo, brawl, Cape Cod, Chanel purse, coach, Cocaine, Detroit Red Wings, Discovery Channel, environmentalist, explosion, Florida Marlins, Gulf Coast, hostages, Hurricane Earl, Jacques Demers, James Jay Lee, Jerry Lewis, Jimmy Connors, John McEnroe, Kennedy family, Labor Day Telethon, Las Vegas, Lindsay Lohan, line judge, Louisiana, Mariner Energy, Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts, Montreal Canadiens, NHL, Nyjer Morgan, oil rigs, Paris Hilton, Pepsi, plastination, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, spanking, St. Louis Blues, suspension, Twitter, U.S. Open, VH1, war, Washington Nationals, Zsa Zsa Gabor

1. Elin Nordegren The latest Tiger conquest to sell her story to the highest bidder. (previous ranking: unranked) 2. St. Paul Ford plant Turn out the lights; employment’s over. (unranked) 3. Lindsay Lohan “A changed woman.” HAR HAR HARDEE HAR HAR! (unranked) 4. Jim Furyk Golfer’s disqualification should be a real wakeup call. (unranked) 5. Bozo the Clown [...]

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Tags: Adolf Hitler, adultery, alarm clock, Barack Obama, Bobby Bowden, bowhunting, Bozo the Clown, breast implants, cell phone, Chris Coleman, Clarabell, disqualification, divorce, Elin Nordegren, Florida State Seminoles, Ford plant, G-cups, health care reform, Heidi Montag, Hell, infidelity, Jim Furyk, Larry Harmon, Lindsay Lohan, Max Baucus, Montana, MTV, Nazi, oversleep, People magazine, PGA, rehab, Russia, St. Paul, The Hills, Tiger Woods, Tim Pawlenty, U.S. Senate, Unemployment, Vladimir Putin, whaling

1. Processed meats A little bladder cancer is a small price to pay for all that tastiness. (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Brad Pitt Now favors death penalty for guy who talked him into doing “Moneyball.” (unranked) 3. Tiger Woods Ladies, he’s available! (unranked) 4. Julian Assange Doesn’t believe in secrets … except when it comes to [...]

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Tags: "Around the Horn", "Big Brother", adderall, adultery, Albert Haynesworth, bladder cancer, BP, Brad Pitt, California, cancer, capital punishment, Chicago, corruption, Cuba, Dawn Brancheau, death penalty, divorce, domestic violence, Elin Nordegren, ESPN, Facebook, Gulf Coast, Illinois, infidelity, Iran, Jay Mariotti, Julian Assange, killer whale, Lindsay Lohan, Middle East, Mike Shanahan, Moneyball, North Korea, oil spill, peace talks, processed meats, reality TV, Rod Blagojevich, San Diego, Sean Penn, SeaWorld, Tiger Woods, Tilikum, war, Washington Redskins, Wikileaks

A shocking new Time magazine poll finds that 24 percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim. White House officials pointed out that Obama is “obviously a Christian,” having for two decades attended Jeremiah Wright’s Chicago church, Our Lady of Perpetual Race Baiting. Nearly two-thirds of New Yorkers are opposed to the planned Ground [...]

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Tags: archaeologists, Barack Obama, baseball, bias, BP, Brad Childress, Brett Favre, Brian McNamee, British Petroleum, bullfighting, Christian, Congress, Cooperstown, fossil, Gulf Coast, Hall of fame, HGH, home run, human growth hormone, Jeremiah Wright, Joe Mauer, karma, Larry King, Lindsay Lohan, lying, Mecca, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Vikings, Moveon.org, MSNBC, Muslim, New Orleans Saints, New York Yankees, nudity, oil spill, prayer, prison, Roger Clemens, Spain, sponge, Steroids, Target, Target Field, terrorists, Tom Emmer, Twitter, Yahoo! Sports

1. Dr. Laura Schlessinger Blazing a new trail for n-word usage by cracker radio hosts. (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Barack Obama Meant to say he was in favor of a Ground Zero Starbucks. (unranked) 3. Dustin Johnson Bunker? What bunker? (unranked) 4. Tiger Woods Nothing major. (unranked) 5. Steven Slater I’m Psycho. Fly me. (4) 6. Alvin Greene Believes [...]

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Tags: 2012 presidential race, 9-11, Alvin Greene, Barack Obama, beaches, Bill Clinton, birth control pill, BP, Bristol Palin, bunker, CNN, Congress, Dina Lohan, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Dustin Johnson, felonies, Food and Drug Administration, governor, Ground Zero mosque, Gulf Coast, JetBlue, Levi Johnston, Lindsay Lohan, major championships, Manhattan, Martha’s Vineyard, Michael Richards, Minnesota, n-word, New York, obscenity, oil spill, penalty, PGA Championship, racist, Ramadan, Republican, South Carolina, Starbucks, Steven Slater, teen pregnancy, Tiger Woods, Tim Pawlenty, Travis Henry, U.S. Senate, Whistling Straits, White House

Every number tells a story. Not necessarily a fact-based story, but a story nonetheless. 35 Temperature that Angelina Jolie chills her urine before serving it to her father’s girlfriends in a Mountain Dew bottle. 4 Hours that Brett Favre spent trying to convince his wife that there is NOTHING to that whole Jenn Sterger sexting [...]

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Tags: 2010 World Cup, Al Gore, Alaska, Albert Haynesworth, Alex Rodriguez, Angelina Jolie, Barack Obama, Boston Celtics, BP, Brett Favre, Bristol Palin, California, Chelsea Clinton, Deadspin, Deanna Favre, drunk, execution, fitness test, gay marriage, gray hair, Gulf Coast, Jenn Sterger, Joe Paterno, Jon Voight, Kim Jong-Il, Levi Johnston, Lindsay Lohan, Minnesota Vikings, Mountain Dew, MTV, NBA, New York Yankees, Newsweek magazine, NFL, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, North Korea, oil spill, Penn State Nittany Lions, prison, Proposition 8, retirement, Sarah Palin, sexting, Shaquille O’Neal, shrimp, Sidney Harman, soccer, Steroids, Target, teen pregnancy, Tipper Gore, urine, Washington Redskins, “Jersey Shore”

Brett Favre was the center of attention Tuesday amid reports that he was ready to retire. It’s the surest sign yet that the Vikings’ quarterback is suffering from severe … A. Ankle pain B. Shoulder pain C. Menstrual pain Recently retired NFL quarterback Kurt Warner reportedly is heading to reality TV this season as a [...]

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Tags: 9-11, Academy Awards, Alaska, Alex Rodriguez, Andrew Morton, Andy Griffith, Angelina Jolie, ankle, Aretha Franklin, assisted suicide, Barely Legal, Bill Cosby, Brett Favre, Bristol Palin, China, CNN, death rumors, diabetes, engagement, erectile dysfunction, Ground Zero, health care reform, human growth hormone, instant replay, Kurt Warner, Levi Johnston, Lindsay Lohan, Little League World Series, Maxim, menstrual pain, meth, Miami Heat, Minnesota Timberwolves, Minnesota Vikings, mirror, mosque, MTV, New York Yankees, New Yorkers, Newsweek, NFL, Oscars, Queen of Soul, reality TV, retirement, Roman Polanski, Sarah Palin, Sidney Harman, Stephon Marbury, Twitter, Vanity Fair, Vaseline, virginity, Wal-Mart, “Dancing with the Stars”, “Jersey Shore”, “Matlock”, “Snooki”, “Survivor: Nicaragua”, “Wife Swap”

1. Brett Favre Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Bill Cosby Still alive … hasn’t even picked out his burial sweater yet. (unranked) 3. Newsweek Sold for $1, about 98 cents too much. (unranked) 4. Barack Obama Turns 49 today. Blames his predecessor. (unranked) 5. Lindsay Lohan Could really use a [...]

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Tags: 1972 Munich Olympics, 9-11, alcohol, Barack Obama, Bill Cosby, birthday, Black September, Brett Favre, Charlie Sheen, Cosby Sweater, dinosaur, Disneyland, George W. Bush, Ground Zero, Lady GaGa, Lindsay Lohan, Lockerbie, Lorenzen Wright, Manhattan, meth, Minnesota Vikings, mosque, murder, New York, Newsweek, NFL, Pan Am 103, rehab, retirement, rumor, Sage Rosenfels, Sherra Wright, Sidney Harman, Tarvaris Jackson, Time magazine, triceratops, Twitter, unicorn, World Trade Center

Former boxing king Mike Tyson says that he starred in the hit film “The Hangover” only to fund his drug habit. He then announced his immediate availability to star in “Hangover 2,” “Hangover 3” and “Hangover 4: The Phantom Menace.” Lindsay Lohan was released from jail Monday after serving 14 days for probation violations. The [...]

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Tags: "Sing Along with Mitch", "The Hangover", 2012 presidential race, Baltimore Orioles, baseball, boxing, California, Charles Rangel, Cuba, drugs, Elian Gonzalez, ESPN, ESPY Awards, ethics, Fidel Castro, hermaphrodite, Iowa, John Shipley, Kansas City Royals, Lady GaGa, Lindsay Lohan, Mary Pawlenty, Maxine Waters, Mike Tyson, Minnesota, Minnesota Twins, Mitch Miller, NASCAR, Phantom Menace, probation, racist, Seattle Mariners, Tampa Bay Rays, tap dancing, Tim Pawlenty, toilet gin, U.S. House of Representatives