1. Lady Gaga Next time you’re in St. Paul, for the love of God, put on some clothes! (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Mark Ingram So much for back-to-back Heismans. (unranked) 3. Barack Obama You’d almost think The Iraq Surge was his idea. (unranked) 4. Roger Clemens Enjoys post-arraignment golf with wife … because Mindy was busy. (1) [...]

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Tags: Alabama Crimson Tide, anchorman, arraignment, arthroscopic surgery, Barack Obama, Ben Roethlisberger, Cancun, Chicago White Sox, Chris Chelios, CNN, cotton-picking, Debbie Clemens, drug wars, George W. Bush, golf, hair, Head & Shoulders, Heisman Trophy, insurance, Iraq War, Lady GaGa, Los Angeles Dodgers, Manny Ramirez, Mark Ingram, Mexico, Mike Wise, Mindy McCready, Minnesota, Moltov cocktails, NHL, Pittsburgh Steelers, retirement, Rick Sanchez, Roger Clemens, shampoo, St. Paul, surge, suspension, Troy Polamalu, Twitter, Washington Post

Fox News host Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally is expected to draw thousands to the Mall in Washington on Saturday. Historians say it could be the largest gathering of nutjobs and saps since the last Netroots Nation convention. Geologists in California say the earthquake prone state is overdue for another “big one.” On the bright side, [...]

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Tags: "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers", "Restoring Honor", 2004 presidential race, acting, Barclays, Blue Power Ranger, Broadway, cab driver, California, Daily Kos, David Yost, divorce, earthquake, Elin Nordegren, Family Circus, Fox News Channel, gay, Geologists, George W. Bush, Glenn Beck, golf, Ground Zero mosque, Ken Mehlman, L.T. Ariyawathi, Los Angeles, Manhattan, Michael Enright, Minnesota Vikings, Muslim, nails, National Mall, Netroots Nation, New York, nutjobs, real Americans, Republican Party, saps, Saudi Arabia, Sri Lanka, Tiger Woods, Tivo, Tony Awards, torture, Wal-Mart, Washington

When the rich, famous and powerful step to the microphone, they often mix truth and fiction. There’s no better way to cut the honest wheat from the verbal chaff than by using the Loop Quote Converter. MICHAEL BLOOMBERG New York mayor, on the controversy surrounding the planned Ground Zero mosque: “The World Trade Center site [...]

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Tags: "Jersey Shore", "The Hangover", "The View", 9-11, Academy Awards, African-Americans, Al Franken, Alaska, Americans, Arizona, Barack Obama, birth certificate, blood diamonds, boxing, Brett Favre, cabbie, Charles Rangel, Charles Taylor, cojones, costume jewelry, Cuba, Democrats, drugs, drunk, Elena Kagan, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, ethics, Europe, Evander Holyfield, Fidel Castro, George W. Bush, golf, Great Britain, Ground Zero mosque, gubernatorial, Haiti, Hamas, Hawaii, hip hop, Hugo Chavez, illegal immigration, inbreeding, Jan Brewer, JetBlue, Lennox Lewis, lesbians, Liberia, Manhattan, Matt Entenza, mayor, Michael Bloomberg, Mike Tyson, Minnesota, Minnesota Vikings, Mitch McConnell, mongrel, MTV, Naomi Campbell, New York, New Yorkers, Oscars, presidency, Prince Charles, Professional Left, reality TV, retirement, Robert Gibbs, Robyne Robinson, royalty, Sarah Palin, Sean Penn, sex scandal, skeletons, Steven Slater, strippers, supermodel, taxi driver, text messages, Tiger Woods, Tim Hasselbeck, U.S. Senate, Venezuela, white people, Windsor, World Trade Center, Wyclef Jean

Minnesota had one of its closest Democratic gubernatorial primaries in history on Tuesday, and the big winner was … A. Mark Dayton B. Margaret Anderson Kelliher C. Tom Emmer Emmer coasted to victory in the Republican primary. He’ll now spend the next couple of months promising to … A. Fight any increases in Minnesota taxes [...]

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Tags: 9-11, adultery, American soldiers, arthritis, Barack Obama, Clay Aiken, Connecticut, Czech Republic, debt, Democrats, Derek Jeter, DFL, drug testing, Esquire magazine, Fantasia Barrino, gay bar, geometry teacher, ginseng, golf, government shutdown, Ground Zero mosque, gubernatorial, Hank Haney, Internet, Iranian Revolutionary Guard, Israel, JetBlue, Joe Lieberman, Justin Bieber, Kim Jong-Il, liberals, Linda McMahon, lobotomy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Margaret Anderson Kelliher, Mark Dayton, Mark Teixeira, mass graves, Minnesota, New York Yankees, Newt Gingrich, North Korea, nuclear weapons, paternity suit, PGA, Phil Mickelson, Pop-Tarts World, Pork Chop, Republicans, Richard Blumenthal, Robert Gibbs, Ryder Cup, Sacramento, sex scandal, sex tape, Steven Slater, suicide, taxes, The Iron Sheik, Tiger Woods, tips, Tom Emmer, transvestite, U.S. House of Representatives, vegetarian, waitresses, water bottle, White House, World Wrestling Entertainment, “American Idol”

1. Steven Slater “I’M FAB AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!” (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Charles Rangel Understands why all the other Democrats want him to quit. Just doesn’t give a rip. (unranked) 3. Percy Harvin The Vikings’ latest headache. (unranked) 4. Justin Bieber When they’re throwing water bottles at you, it’s only because you’re [...]

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Tags: 2012 presidential race, blood diamonds, Charles Rangel, Charles Taylor, chicken, Democrats, Esquire magazine, ethics, flesh-eating bacteria, geometry, Georgia, golf, Hank Haney, headache, heat wave, human, humidity, Jackie Battley, JetBlue, Joseph Stalin, Justin Bieber, Liberia, Manhattan, Miami, migrane, Minnesota, Minnesota Vikings, Moscow, Naomi Campbell, New York, Newt Gingrich, NFL, Percy Harvin, Sean Foley, smog, Soviet Union, Steven Slater, supermodel, swing coach, Tiger Woods, U.S. House of Representatives, water bottle

1. Naomi Campbell Doesn’t accept blood diamonds from just ANY war criminal. (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Flesh-eating bacteria Every bit as unpleasant as it sounds. (unranked) 3. Tiger Woods Only packing enough clothes for two-day stay at PGA. (1) 4. Hutton Gibson Mel’s apparently the sane one in the family. (unranked) 5. American men’s tennis It’s official … [...]

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Tags: "Bob Barker", Andy Roddick, anti-Semite, ATP rankings, birth control, blood diamonds, Brian Cushing, Charles Taylor, cut, drug testing, Fantasia Barrino, Finland, flesh-eating bacteria, golf, Houston Texans, Hutton Gibson, lawsuit, Liberia, Mel Gibson, Mia Farrow, Michelle Obama, Naomi Campbell, necrotizing fasciitis, overtrained athlete syndrome, performance-enhancing drugs, PGA Championships, Pope Benedict XVI, pregnancy, saunas, sex tape, Spain, tennis, Tiger Woods, Whistling Straits, White House, Wisconsin, World Sauna Championship, “American Idol”, “The Price is Right”

First Lady Michelle Obama has been having the time of her life on an extravagant, five-star vacation in Spain with her daughter Sasha and some pals. She says it’s the first time in her adult life that she is really proud of that country. The Milwaukee teachers union has sued its school board in a bid [...]

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Tags: apology, bankruptcy, Barack Obama, Beetle, bettors, Bill Leavy, Bridgestone Invitational, cars, CBA, Congress, Corey Pavin, excrement, Finland, golf, Great Britain, health insurance, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Michelle Obama, Milwaukee, New York Knicks, Pittsburgh Steelers, Ryder Cup, Sasha Obama, Seattle Seahawks, Spain, Super Bowl XL, teachers union, Tiger Woods, viagra, Volkswagen, White House, World Sauna Championships

1. Tiger Woods Will do much better once he starts playing from the women’s tees. (previous ranking: unranked) 2. Michelle Obama You spent HOW MUCH in Spain? (unranked) 3. Usain Bolt Now the world’s fastest has-been. (unranked) 4. Afghanistan Much, much safer if you’re lucky enough to be Muslim. (unranked) 5. Urban Meyer Who’s the “scumbag”? (unranked) 6. Excrement-powered [...]

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Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Beetle, cars, Chris Chelios, Christina Romer, Council of Economic Advisers, Detroit Red Wings, excrement, Florida Gators, golf, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Michelle Obama, New York Knicks, Spain, Tiger Woods, Tyson Gay, Unemployment, Urban Meyer, Usain Bolt, Volkswagen, White House

Astronomers are warning that a giant asteroid by the name of 1999 RQ36 could hit Earth in 2182. While such a collision would likely devastate our planet, it would still leave time for another 172 seasons of “Jersey Shore.” ESPN officials this week killed a story on LeBron James’ recent partying in Las Vegas because it did [...]

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Tags: "Bob Barker", "Jersey Shore”, 1999 RQ36, ABC, African-Americans, asteroid, Astronomers, Barack Obama, Charles Rangel, domestic violence, Drew Carey, Earth, ESPN, ethics violations, golf, governor, Hollywood, Independence Party, Italian restaurant, Jesse Ventura, journalism, Karen Sypher, Las Vegas, LeBron James, Lindsay Lohan, Los Angeles Coliseum, Louisville Cardinals, low-carb diet, Michael Lohan, Minnesota, mongrel, New York, Nobel Prize. Ku Klux Klan, Rick Pitino, Rob Hahn, Skateboard Big Air, U.S. House of Representatives, weight loss, X Games, “The Price is Right”, “The View”

Vietnam has shut down dozens of dog meat restaurants and slaughterhouses because of an outbreak of cholera. The news is especially disappointing for the loyal customers of the Ho Chi Minh City Applebee’s. Michele Bachmann raised eyebrows over the weekend by saying the U.S. is becoming ”a nation of slaves.” The Minnesota representative was immediately sued by [...]

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Tags: "NFL Countdown", "The Decision", 1977, 2010 World Cup, 911 Turbo Coupe, Academy Awards, Ames, Applebee's, auction, Barack Obama, baseball, BP, British Petroleum, burglary, California, cholera, Chris Berman, Cleveland Cavaliers, college basketball, containment cap, David Stern, death threats, Democrats, dog meat, ESPN, extradition, free agency, golf, Gulf Coast, Gulf of Mexico, Ho Chi Minh City, imbecile, Iowa State Cyclones, Jesse Jackson, LeBron James, locks, Los Angeles Dodgers, manners, Manny Ramirez, Mel Gibson, Miami Heat, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, MInnesota Gophers, Mr. Basketball, NBA, oil spill, Oksana Grigorieva, Oscars, Paul the Octopus, Pete Rozelle, Porsche, Pro Football Hall of Fame, Republicans, Robert Gibbs, Roman Polanski, rose garden, Saigon, Samantha Geimer, sexual assault, shoplifting, shrine, slavery, Switzerland, theft, U.S. House of Representatives, United States, Vietnam, White House