Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann posed as “Miss November” for a new calendar titled …. A. “Great American Conservative Women”  B. “Giants of Congress”  C. “Psycho Cougars”    A new study predicts that this will cost more than $100 billion over four years … A. Bank failures  B. A single-payer health care system   C. Joe Mauer’s next contract    Baseball officials, [...]

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Tags: Adolf Hitler, archeology, back acne, bank failures, Beatles, Brad Lidge, bullfighting, Chuck Knoblauch, cougars, Glenn Beck, Gotham Bowl, Great American Conservative Women, Jay Leno, Joe Mauer, John Phillips, Jon & Kate Plus Eight, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe Kardashian, KQRS, Lamar Odom, Major League Baseball, Manny Ramirez, Mars, Michael Beasley, Michael Jackson, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota Twins, NASA, New York Yankees, New Yorkers, Omar Vizquel, parasites, Patrick Swayze, Phil Spector, Roman Polanski, Tom Barnard, Tyrannosaurus rax, WCCO, WNBA, Woody Allen, Yankee Bowl

1. The Immaculate Favre-ception If The Loop hears Paul Allen’s radio call one more time we’re going to puke. (Previous ranking: unranked)   2. Roman Polanski Likely to return to Los Angeles before NFL does. (1)    3. Chuck Knoblauch  Still can hit … allegedly. (unranked)   4. Jim Zorn At the bottom, not just alphabetically. (2)   5. [...]

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Tags: al-Qaeda, Brett Favre, CBS, Chuck Knoblauch, Cleveland Browns, Dan Rather, Eric Mangini, extradition, France, Gordon Brown, grasshoppers, Great Britain, Greg Lewis, Jim Zorn, KFAN, Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom, Los Angeles, Los Angeles Lakers, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Vikings, NBA, New York Yankees, Paul Allen, Roman Polanski, Seattle Seahawks, The Immaculate Favre-ception, Washington Redskins

Videos of comedians are often funny. Videos of painful injuries are often funny. So imagine all the laughter when a comedian suffers an injury!   Here’s the clip, which Conan O’Brien aired last night, of his hard fall during last Friday’s taping of a triathlon skit with Teri Hatcher. It’s all in good fun until [...]

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Tags: Conan O'Brien, concussion, head, Teri Hatcher, The Tonight Show, triathlon

A restaurant in England has unveiled a 2,700 calorie “Super Scooby Burger.” It’s the first fast-food sandwich that features four beef patties, eight pieces of cheese and two slices of cartoon dog.   Analysts say that each “Super Scooby Burger,” after digestion, produces about two pounds of Scooby doo.   President Obama is heading to [...]

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Tags: "Going Rogue", 2016 Olympics, Barack Obama, Beer, Chicago, Copenhagen, digestion, extradition, hot tub, Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom, Los Angeles Angels, Los Angeles Lakers, Madonna, Michael Jackson, NBA, Nick Adenhart, Notre Dame, puberty, Roman Polanski, Sarah Palin, Scooby Doo, sex tape, Stafon Johnson, Super Scooby Burger, Switzerland, United States, USC, weightlifting

1. Roman Polanski Having second thoughts about that 1977 guilty plea. (Previous ranking: 1)    2. Jim Zorn Dead coach walking. (unranked)   3. Iran  Warheads? What warheads? (4)   4. Jenny Slate  The Ernie Anastos of late night sketch comedy. (2)   5. Terrell Owens Metastasizing in the Buffalo Bills’ locker room. (unranked)  

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Tags: Cleveland Browns, Eric Mangini, Ernie Anastos, FedEx Cup, golf, Iran, Jenny Slate, Jim Zorn, Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom, Los Angeles Lakers, Madonna, marriage, Michael Jackson, NBA, NFL, nuclear weapons, Phil Mickelson, Roman Polanski, Saturday Night Live, Seattle Seahawks, SNL, Terrell Owens, Tiger Woods, Tour Championship, Washington Redskins

New cast member Jenny Slate kicked off the new season of “Saturday Night Live” by dropping an f-bomb in one of her first skits. It’s not known yet how many NBC officials she’ll have to sleep with to keep her job.   Fugitive moviemaker Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland on Sunday more than three [...]

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Tags: Atkins Diet, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Booty Call, boxing, Charles Manson, Chicago Cubs, Evander Holyfield, Garrison Keillor, Global warming, Iran, Jenny Slate, Milton Bradley, National League Central Division, NBC, New York, nuclear weapons, Prairie Home Companion, raw meat, Roman Polanski, same-sex marriage, Saturday Night Live, SNL, soccer, St. Louis Cardinals, St. Paul, statutory rape, Susan Atkins, Switzerland

1. Roman Polanski No worse a guy than, say, John Phillips. (Previous ranking: unranked)    2. Jenny Slate  Must have thought SNL was on HBO. (unranked)   3. Bruce Pearl  Now he’ll NEVER be able to recruit Klan players. (unranked)   4. Iran  Nukes R Us. (unranked)   5. Michael Jackson  Described himself as a “lizard” during rare bout of [...]

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Tags: Bruce Pearl, Charles Manson, Chicago Bulls, Conan O'Brien, Danica Patrick, Derrick Rose, HBO, Indy Racing League, Iran, IRL, Jack Paar, Jenny Slate, Ku Klux Klan, Memphis, Miami Hurricanes, Michael Jackson, NASCAR, nuclear weapons, Roman Polanski, SAT, Saturday Night Live, SNL, Susan Atkins, Switzerland, The Tonight Show

Today we continue our new feature, looking ahead to this afternoon’s Vikings opponent, the San Francisco 49ers.   The Niners were generally considered to be the Team of the Eighties, bringing home four Super Bowl championships in that greatest of decades. But they were never hotter than they are in this video, when a 49ers [...]

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Tags: Amir 9000, microwave, Minnesota Vikings, San Francisco 49ers, Team of the Eighties

This morning, we christen a new weekend feature on The Loop Now, as we examine the upcoming opponents for Minnesota’s football heroes: the Gophers and Vikings.   Tim Brewster’s Gophers travel to Northwestern today to take on a Wildcats team that has come a long way from the Dark Ages of the 1970s and ‘80s, [...]

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Tags: Big Ten, Dennis Green, Gold Country, Iowa Hawkeyes, Joe Salem, MInnesota Gophers, Northwestern Wildcats

Officials at Kings Island amusement park near Cincinnati apologized for and removed a Halloween skeleton display that re-created the Steve McNair murder scene. It will be replaced by an even more frightening attraction, “Ernie Anastos’ Chicken Ranch.”   A 19-pound baby boy was born this week in Indonesia. Doctors said the mother’s discomfort, in carrying [...]

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Tags: "National Lampoon's Vacation", "One Day at a Time", "The Longest Yard", Betty Ford Clinic, Binghamton University, Bruce Springsteen, Burt Reynolds, Chevy Chase, Chicken Ranch, Cincinnati, crack, Dwight Gooden, Ernie Anastos, G-20 summit, Halloween, incest, Indonesia, Janet Gretzky, John Phillips, Khloe Kardashian, Kings Island, Lamar Odom, Los Angeles Lakers, MacKenzie Phillips, New Jersey, New York Giants, Oprah Winfrey, Phoenix Coyotes, Pittsburgh, Plaxico Burress, Randy Quaid, Steve McNair, The Mamas & The Papas, Wayne Gretzky